I just need someone to do the last section of my assignment for $6.  I need it by 7:00 am new york time this morning. If you could do that for me it would be great. I'm going to get some sleep so I will check back in the morning. Please don't wait to start till after I check because then it will be too late. I promise to pay even without an agreement. If I don't pay, may I be struck by a bolt of lightning. 

Here's the instructions:

5. Rhetorical strategies: Copy down FIVE examples of rhetorical strategies from the passage [ex. one of three appeals, examples of loaded diction, interesting syntax, etc.] Identify what type of strategy it is (label the example) and then explain the FUNCTION or  EFFECT of the rhetorical strategy. 

Here's the passage:

How easy is it to call Rogue and Villain, and that wittily! But how hard to make a Man appear a Fool, a Blockhead, or a Knave, without using any of those opprobrious terms! To spare the grossness of the Names, and to do the thing yet more severely, is to draw a full Face, and to make the Nose and Cheeks stand out, and yet not to employ any depth of Shadowing. This is the Mystery of that Noble Trade, which yet no Master can teach to his Apprentice: He may give the Rules, but the Scholar is never the nearer in his practice. Neither is it true, that this fineness of Raillery is offensive. A witty Man is tickled while he is hurt in this manner, and a Fool feels it not. The occasion of an Offence may possibly be given, but he cannot take it. If it be granted that in effect this way does more Mischief; that a Man is secretly wounded, and though he be not sensible himself, yet the malicious World will find it for him: yet there is still a vast difference betwixt the slovenly Butchering of a Man, and the fineness of a stroke that separates the Head from the Body, and leaves it standing in its place. A man may be capable, as Jack Ketch's Wife said of his Servant, of a plain piece of Work, a bare Hanging; but to make a malefactor die sweetly was only belonging to her Husband. I wish I could apply it to my self, if the Reader would be kind enough to think it belongs to me.